Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
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