I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Randomize
