is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
