Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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