who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
