insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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