I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
