i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
