Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
