You're so nebulous sometimes
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
