Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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