i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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