I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
