hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
