my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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