Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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