Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
