He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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