dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
