I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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