so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
