can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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