uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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