Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
