Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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