I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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