He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
