I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize