i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
