If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
