and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
