i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize