Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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