that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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