I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
