to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
