is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
