your parents love me but you hate me
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
