Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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