Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
