My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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