I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
