Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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