did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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