Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
