How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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