he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
