My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize