At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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