I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
