That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
