How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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