do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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