I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
