I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
