I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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