well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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