just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
