just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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