I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
