i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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